look it flips out too!

25 year old Monkeys

jumping on the bed! Yay, I'm 25, I can finally rent a car coz ya'll know how long I've been waiting for that.. (note sarcasm). But really, turning 25 doesn't feel like 25, in fact it doesn't really feel like anything.. other than a reason to party and get lots of present and birthday wishes.

It's fun coz I get birthday wishes on my birthday and the belated ones that come after only remind me of the fun I had. So this past Saturday I got to celebrate with other Virgo babies - Virginia, Karen, and Jen (I'm the oldest.. by a few days. :P). We went to Dragon Bar which is a nice place, low-key, mixed crowd, not snobby, pretty good music, free (before 11), so for the value I give it an A. Anyway, here's one of my favorite pictures from the night. Click on it to see more. We were trying to squish into the photo, the first one cut Jen's head off and then this one looks mushed. Which is how the night went.. with Jen doing most of the mushing.

A great time of dancing, drinking (coke), and friends. :) Thank you to the ones that made it out. And for those that missed it, let's just go out again. I'm done sitting on my butt watching movies.. I want out!! The going out bug has hit and I need bodies and ideas.. so let's go!

human zoo exhibit!

Sometimes I wish it was easier to travel around the world, because this is something I'd like to see.. London Zoo's New Exhibit: The Human Zoo. Click here for the Yahoo article on it. Trust the British to come up with something so zany, just like the rest of their dry humor.

Honestly, I'm not sure what this proves, besides the fact that you can watch a few people (what looks like at least 7 people) run around in a zoo exhibit for four days. They say "the four day event aims to demonstrate the basic nature of man as an animal and examine the impact that Homo sapiens have on the rest of the animal kingdom." Riiight... basic nature I think would come out if a group of people crashed on a deserted island with no way off and no hope of rescue.. not in a zoo exhibit where people can come watch scantily clad Brits run around playing. And the impact we have on the animal kingdom? Don't think you'll see it in a contained unit where they are without all the industrial innovations that are slowly killing our planet. Not saying that I'm an angel.. shoot I love apple products and clothes and shoes, etc. I'm sure some of my purchases are only helping the slow destruction of our earth. But either way, I'm a bit skeptical about this whole "human zoo", but curious at the same time. What exactly is London Zoo trying to show? You'd think with all the technology we do have, they'd put up a camera or more information on the website, but all it's got is a summary, a link to buy tickets and two photos..

ah well..!

quarter of a century old

I had a great birthday today! Woke up and went to the spa, which felt soooo great. I'm a true believer in the healing power of the spa. If I could I'd definitely open one. Too bad it's so expensive to run, I'd love to be able to make it affordable to everyone. As it is, when I want to go I have to save up to splurge.. but I definitely find it worth it. Luckily, my dad gave this to me as a birthday gift, along with my hair cut the day before. Yipee!! Then I headed over to San Mateo for lunch had a light lunch of pho and sat outside eating chinese roll cake.. yummy. Drove up to Fremont to have dinner at Champion Teppanyaki.. Chinese style teppanyaki. Total we had 25 people attend. Me, dad, grandpa, my friend Mason, the Shen family (Uncle PJ, Auntie Di Fen, Beverly, and Evelyn), and the Cisco ASR team (all 16 of them). It was great fun, lots of people, lots of food, and wine, wine, and more wine.. and some water. :D

And all throughout the day I got phone calls, texts, emails and lots of happy birthday wishes.

Thanks everyone for making it such a great birthday!! :)*HUUUUUUUUUUUG*

practicing "styling"

chop chop.. it's off!
--jadeheart

laughter from the belly into the heart

it's 8:30am and i just finished watching two videos on my friend "greedi's" website.. and man am i missing so cal right now. now just the great weather and the beaches, but the memories with my friends and most of all them.. no matter how bad my life has gotten they've always been there for me and they watched me grow out of my awkward stage.. granted into a different awkward stage.. but hey. :) it's a transition folks!

anyway, everytime i think about them they bring a huge smile to my face and i'm reminded most of all about how they make me laugh. it's not just about humor... this is a laugh from the belly that goes into the heart and fills you up completely with warmth. and as your laughing you know that this is a moment you're sharing and enjoying and reveling in that you have this wonderful friend to love and share this with. it's a total mind and body experience and you don't realize it until one day something triggers a memory..

..or like a drug if you haven't had it for a long time, and you go and visit and it happens and you get this huge rush because you remember what it feels like to laugh that hard with the belly and have it fill you up inside.

good times. good times.

i love seeing how my life has changed over time. and the great thing about having friends all over california is.. no matter where i fall, someone will catch me.

snow in august

I'm already thinking about it. For some reason I'm still getting Transworld Snowboarding and Skiing magazines. I started flipping through the boarding ones.. if anyone wants the ski ones let me know. Anyway, they've totally got more articles about and for women now! Sic!

So today I've spent a few minutes purusing the internet and decided to devote a blog entry to snowboarding. So far I've been thinking a few things, I didn't get a season pass again, because work prevents me from going up enough to get proper usage out of it. But I do think I want to take a few days off to spend up there if possible.. means more saving money needed.

Anyway, so first visit to www.scskate.com and looking around, the muse tribute is a beautiful board, design/construction wise. But I'm not much of a pipe/park person, still working on that. So thus my eyes turn to the Cuna Union.. *happy sigh*. I ride a Santa Cruz board right now and love it and they've done some changes to the tips and construction so yipeeee!!

BUUUUTTT THIS is the board I've been pining after for soooo very long... Hyleyn by Hammer Snowboards(see pic at top and click link for details). Ever since I started looking/shopping/researching boards back when I first decided to purchase ones.. I've drooled over this board. There's just something about it, I've never even ridden the darn thing and it just caught my eye. What can I say I'm a sucker for advertising. And this years graphic, totally me! Although the graphic from 2000 (?) was equally amazing. Didn't like the ones in between so much. But yeah.. a woman can dream can't she?

Either way, I don't technically need a new board, definitely need new boots though. Maybe I should just get a whole new set and sell the old one ;). Haha.. we'll see how it goes.. did I mention my birthday is coming up soon? j/k.

greedi sticki

so it's my birthday month.. and i've spent a few hundred this month on stuff I really didn't need.. my justification? it's my birthday. i think i'll return some of it, coz i REALLY don't need all of it.

anyway, i'm supposed to be saving money in my IRA and just in general, especially since i want to go on vacation soon.. i'm thinking NY to see Kris or Hawaii would be nice!

Anyway.. so for my birthday wish list (hint, hint ):

bose sounddock for ipod
apple isight
apple mighty mouse
woman's mountain bike or cruiser bike
new snowboard boots
new snowboard - my dream
lacoste mystere sneakers w/ green velcro straps
tiger x os
ipod shuffle (for snowboarding!)

... i'm sure i'll add more to this list later.. :P

one click leads to another

As usual my boredom will lead me to the internet. The one place where it looks like I'm still doing work, while passing away the time. Not that I'm not working. You know how we're supposed to take breaks once in awhile.. well I consider these modifications to my sites those breaks. :)

Anyway, I was trying to figure out how to change my myspace page to look less... sterile. I joined because my hula brothers and sisters are all on there (yay hula!).. and then I remembered one of my other friends was there too, so I found him.. and then in his friends list saw a few more of my friends, clicked them, and saw more people, clicked them... and before I knew it, I was adding friends like crazy, doing some catching up, and had a million pages up.

:) Granted I didn't sit and read most of the profiles only because I already know them. But it's fun to see the recent pictures and see what they're up too. Life gets a bit boring and the internet has become my phone/window/letter to those friends who are too far to physically see or hug. Anyway, if you get bored check it out. www.myspace.com/jadeheart/

.....

it's one of those days where you end up doing some soul searching.. here's what i found out about myself:

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name?
love song:	morning song - jewel
depressing song:	you were meant for me - jewel
party song:	senorita - justin timberlake
what-the-hell-ever song:	the wreckoning - boomkat
your life	ordinary day - vanessa carlton
Quiz created with MemeGen!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

good thing there's tests out there to help you remember who you really are.. hehe.

test

there are days when one gets bored at the office.. and wonders what it would look like if one stuffs the squishy thing one sits against inside one's sweater..

preggers!!!


--jadeheart

self-analyzing culture

I know culture affects who we are and who we become, it is both a cause, catalyst, and a result. One could mix in up-brining with culture, but techically, you can lump all of it together into one thing, you.

We joke, we mimic, and mock or pride ourselves in who we are and where our background comes from. Look at Margaret Cho, Russell Peters, Chris Rock... our ethnicity, our race, and our stereotypes make us laugh. Why? Because half the time it's true, you get it. You hear your mother's voice in Margaret's. Those How Do You Know if Your Asian lists?.. At least 90% of that list pertains to my family.. mother had short, permed curly hair, shoes at the door, played an instrument, the list goes on.

What isn't quite so obvious, but has recently over the past few years presented itself in a more personal and tangible way is how my culture "dictates" the way I react to certain situations.

1) Guilt.. oh boy, I could write a whole book on how my life seems to be lived in guilt. I don't know if this is a predominately Chinese feature, or a result of my Chinese American upbringing. The sense to honor our parents and make them proud can also lead to feelings of guilt for me. The American side says, be more independent, you don't owe anything to anyone but yourself (not that I really believe that, but the thought is there). The Chinese side says don't make waves, accept, roll with it and do better for my family and community. What elders say goes.

2) Don't cause trouble, falls in line with listen to your elders, don't ask too many questions. Does this mean when I get older I get to tell younger people that? But then if we're raised not to do that, how do we know when we get to have that 'privilege'. I guess it just happens, coz one day you start to realize you're turning into your parents.. not always a bad thing, not always a good thing.

Anyway, so my situation as of late: miscommunication with a co-worker leading to my unhappiness at work and wanting to leave. Not that I would, I have a responsibility to our clients and anyone else leaving the agency right now would just not be a good thing. But yeah, back to miscommunication, I think sometimse she expresses herself in the wrong way and I interpret it differently. Either way it had led to mistrust and frustration on my part. As much as I know I should 'confront' someone when I"m feeling this way, it's difficult being I never do stuff like that. Most of the time I'm so easy going I'll roll with it, or deal with it in a way where confrontation becomes unecessary. I don't say I ignore it (sometimes I do), but there are ways to say things or actions that can be taken to reach a compromise. There was no way around it this time, I had to talk with her. I've always known miscommunication generally leads to negative feelings, but while you're feeling them it can be hard to see clearly. Talking it out with the ED helped me realize just what I was feeling and why and what I needed from my co-worker to help me better understand the situation. Hopefully this will all work out, I've already talked to her and it was a good talk.. we'll see what happens. At least now I know what I need in terms of communication with people and I think this has helped me sort some stuff out about myself.

I strongly value honesty above all else, never lie to me because finding out the truth later hurts much more. One can never fault someone for being honest at least about important things. :)

butterflies in the stomach

They're back! That nervous feeling you get before a competition, before going on stage, knowing you've been practicing and you're about to share a part of yourself with however many are watching...

I'm so excited! I love that feeling! Going out on the field for colorguard (yes laugh if you want), getting that rush as the music fills you up and you are performing in front of hundreds of people. The best part of that was winning.

The second time I remember that feeling was performing for a talent show during UCI's SPOP program. All the summer orientation staffers would practice to do this show, I've played a 'hoochie' in Kung Fu theatre, although later playing the head bad guy was much more fun. Then there was the hip hop dance group we created for the show, that was fun. But the best part? Being able to sing in front of 500 people, something I had always wanted to do and wasn't sure I'd be able too. One of my fellow staffers (or Hot Travis) as he was called played the guitar most beautifully and I sang Bizzare Love Triangle, the Frente version. I remember how nervous I was, but I loved it.

Now here we go again! Hula performance tomorrow. It's great, that anxious, excited feeling, remembering what it's like to have a good performance. YAHOOO!! The costumes are made, making the accessories, I feel like so much of me has gone into this for a mere few minutes on stage, but hey.. YAHOOOOOO all the same! For those of you who are coming to watch, MAHALO! Thanks for the aloha and support.

See you tomorrow! www.kaohanaaloha.com