Saturday, January 26, 2008

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

i'm the geek..

or the dork.. since geekiness usually means you're super good at something nerd and i'm just a dabbler. although at work i might qualify as head geek.

anyway, if any of you read the geeks are chic article i posted awhile back, i decided i'm the geek! i hardly ever notice if/when guys are interested in me. i'm so oblivious to it. if a guy offers me his jacket, i usually say no, i don't want them to freeze and if i'm cold, it's my own fault for not having worn more. when a guy is talking to me for a particularly long time i assume it's just information they want.

i rarely flirt, unless i'm totally comfortable with the person and then it's already too late, we're friends and the flirting is really just friends goofing around. if there's an empty chair next to a cute guy i'll usually sit away from him because i'm so nervous. i'll give a couple of glances and usually spend the rest of the evening ignoring him... why? scared and nervous.

but there's the flip side, if i like a guy i'll remember almost everything he tells me. in particular, i'll remember what he likes, what he doesn't like, what he's been up to. i'll do little things for him, most of which he'll probably never notice, also because i do things for friends in general. but that's just the way i am. i like doing little things to make people happy, to make them smile. :) it shows that someone was listening when they were talking and that someone cares.

this isn't to say i'm not confident in myself, i am. i'm totally adaptable in social situations. you can put me almost anywhere and i'm totally fine. yet when it comes to someone i'm interested in or think is cute.. it suddenly becomes 10 times harder. *sigh*

it's not supposed to be this hard! or is it?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

what's in a name?

victoria - Means "victory" in Latin. Conqueror, victorious.

I was given this name because I was born prematurely and was on the smaller side. My parents wanted me to have a strong name, to carry me through the years. I think I live up to my name in the sense that I have strong beliefs and I strive to uphold them. I don't force them upon anyone, but I carry them to be true to myself. Many of my own personal victories were a result of quiet perseverance and support of family and friends. I'm not an extrovert nor am I outwardly vocal about a lot of things, but in my own way, I am steadfast.

quan yin - My mother also believed I was somehow linked to this bodhisattva of compassion due to the dot on my forhead. (I never though much of it, only once ever wished it wasn't there, and now I cherish it). In Chinese culture, the Quan Yin is usually referred to as the goddess of mercy. Whenever we visited temples in China/Taiwan and there was an alter to her, I would light a stick of incense. She was known for her mercy and compassion for everyone, she would help whoever needed it, even if they had done her wrong somehow. I try to live my life like that. I'm not sure if I live it because I know who she is, or if that's just me. I think it's mostly just me. My mother believed that she protects me and for awhile I wore a necklace of her image around my neck and then later went to carrying a picture of her in my wallet.

Wei Shuan - my Chinese name refers to a not so easy to find piece of jade. My parents never really told me much about why they named me this. I think it was mostly due to it being something slightly different from the norm, not a regular piece of jade, but a special piece. Also, because it's supposed to be pretty.

kapu'uwaimaluhia - the peaceful heart - my first kumu hula gave me this name. He said it was because I have a tendency to give a lot and never ask for anything in return.

Today I was thinking about all the names I've been given (outside of silly nicknames). How I've lived with those names in the past few years and how I've become those names and how they reflect who I am.

I hope in 2008, I drawn on all the strengths of those names and really stay true to who I am and hope that it takes me some place amazing. :) Here's to a new year!