Monday, April 26, 2004


how are you supposed to live when each day you know something is missing from your life and you know you will never forget that?

Thursday, April 22, 2004

social animals: part 1

I'm not awake yet, it's almost 9am. I'm at work and bored. I've checked practically every e-mail account I have.. and on that note.. that's scary that I have more than one. hehe. Anyway, so I came across this American Eagle Outfitters email I got. And it showed a picture of a bunch of young people dressed for summer laying out on blankets and it made me think about warm summer nights and warm bodies all snuggled next to each other on blankets and/or sand and I got all nostalgic.

Ahh those were the days, when you were out with friends and just chillin' and being near each other. There's something about being near people that just brings a sense of security and well-being. I don't know what it is, but I miss it. Terribly. Yet I know things will never go back to the way they were. Life for me it seems will always be bittersweet because part of it will always be missing.

.. maybe that's why I so ardently search for love, wanting to be filled up again.. complete.. but it scares me too.. that I may never find that. Or maybe it scares me more than when I do, this aching from my loss still won't go away..