Tuesday, January 17, 2012

lessons from the surf

"Surfing is such an amazing concept. You're taking on Nature with a little stick and saying, 'I'm gonna ride you!' And a lot of times Nature says, 'No you're not!' and crashes you to the bottom."
                                           --Jolene Blalock

I can't believe I didn't start surfing when I first lived in Orange County.  It was always something I wanted to learn but I didn't try until 12 years later.  I finally told myself when I turned 30 that I was going to stop talking about all the things I wanted to try and just go do them.  I took a surfing class and it was hard, incredibly hard, and then I started stand up paddling and caught my first wave and rode it out on my SUP board.

It was indescribable, the feeling that very first time, where it felt like everything came together, the water, the board, my body - my soul/mind/heart all at once.  I knew right there and then I would never stop surfing, ever.

While I love that quote above, for me it would read something more like this, "Surfing is such an amazing concept.  You're trying to work with nature and time it just right so that the water, your body and your mind all come together at the right time.  You have to be patient and go with the flow and never forget your place, because Nature will come along and put you there."

Being on the water has taught me to be patient again, to wait, watch and learn.  Bide my time until things are right and then go for it.  It's also taught me that no matter how many times I fall, I need to just pick myself back up and try again, and keep on trying until I get it.

The ocean has really become my sanctuary and the one place that can set everything going on wrong right in me emotionally.

"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea" - Isak Dinesen

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

hard to imagine sometimes

there are moments when i look at a sweet photo of a couple and i get this sudden fear that i will never have that.  where i can't even picture a shadow of a person to be with.  i know how to be single, i'm so good at it. too good at it.

it's really a fear that i won't find someone who will fit me as well as i see some of my friends fit together with their partners.