okay so again i'm supposed to be doing my german politics paper... i have one paragraph.. the opening paragraph. all it's actually missing is the thesis.. ha! the most important part and i'm stalling. i don't know why, i like the class it's interesting. you wouldn't believe all the shit Germany has been through and the political drama its endured.. it's amazing! in such a short period of time that country has gone to hell and back and then through it all again. anyway, my teacher wants us to write about the unification of germany and the aftermath it has on a social group.. i was going to do blue-collar workers.. i actually did a whole page.. but i kept coming upon interesting stuff about women (which is what i originally wanted to write about, but couldn't find anything on in my textbooks.. but now i have) so i scrapped that one and started anew.. i can't believe it either.. i had a whole page on the other one done and now just a paragraph and i've been "working" on this for 2 hours. i don't have the motivation for it, i don't think i can finish it. but i have to.. damn it.and my coughing isn't helping and now i think my eyesite is going funny. *sigh* yeah i'm complaining again. i do a lot of it, i shouldn't.. i have so much.

i was all depressed last night, because i missed having someone in my life and i wanted to have someone hold me while i fell asleep in my freezing cold ass bed. but the more i thought about it (my whining) the more i realized how lucky i was.. i have a bed to sleep in and it happens to be a big one, with a fluffy down comforter, in a room that's all mine... in a flat (that's what an apartment in a two floored house is called) i share with three people who really really care about me in a house so close to the beach i hear it at night and wake up to it in the morning.. in that house is a garage housing a car my parents bought me (yes spoiled brat that i am) as an early graduation gift, a car that most people dream about having, a car that takes me to a university where i have more friends and fun times and i have the privilege of taking classes and earning a degree so that i can get a good job and earn a higher standard of living..

..suddenly my bed felt really warm and cozy as i fell asleep feeling safe..

then i woke up a few hours later and threw up cuz i was sick, but hey.. it's not so bad if that's the least of my worries :)