i often want to understand the "why"behind people, what motivates them to do what they do, to make them feel a certain way about something. i guess that's why i was a psych major and why i do what i do for a living now.
anyway, my friend and i were talking about guys and she quotes this one book a lot. almost like it's a medical study. and i think people do this because we want to understand why. why didn't things work out? why didn't they feel this way? why couldn't he have loved me as much as i loved him? why didn't he want me?
when the reality is you can't really explain it every time. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you (although we can definitely feel like there is), but rather that the two of you just didn't work.
at some point, someone may have thought that about you too. while there may be some reasons people can articulate about why it didn't work, is that what really matters in the end?
a long time ago i asked myself those why questions for a long time and struggled to find answers (not that i ever really asked the guy either). when finally i realized, it didn't matter. i realized i had to stop asking why, it wasn't fixing anything and the answers wouldn't fix anything either. it was what happened, he did what he did and that was that. and i moved on. it was liberating.
it just feels like there are articles and books and studies that argue about every angle of relationships and what/why/how things do or don't work. was it always like this? or has the internet made it easier to access/produce all this "information".
i think i'm going to stop reading about dating and relationships and just let life happen.
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