people are inspired by different things...

as i walk around new york and live look at the tall buildings and the food and the people and the buzz and busy-ness it's amazing.

i can see how this inspires some, how some people love the city that never sleeps that always offers them something new.

but i realized it doesn't make my heart sing.  i knew years ago where my heart belonged only it took awhile for me to finally hear what she was saying to me.

it's the beach, it's the water, it's southern california.  some people laugh at me when i say that, they ask me what the difference is between nor cal and so cal.

but it's one of those things that i can't explain entirely.

the water makes my heart sing, the beach, the smell of the salt, the dolphins, fish, whales, seals, and other crazy wildlife.  being able to get 70 degree weather in winter, mixed in with rain and chilly days too.  being able to access the beach in less than 20 minutes.  i am happiest when i'm on the water at sunset or sunrise paddling next to dolphins.  that's what makes my heart sing.

that's what feeds my soul and makes me happy.

thank you steve jobs

my first memory of apple is as a kid, playing frogger on our apple IIe at home.  the computer sat in our dining room, next to the 5 1/2" floppy disk drive.  it was great, i loved that game.

but PCs started to dominate those dark years and although we had this rectangular looking Mac, I used our 'color' PC to do all my work.. but then came the iPod

and the courtship developed into a relationship, into love for things that "made music together".

iPod 2nd generation
15" refreshed Macbook Pro - circa 2003
iPod Nano - 1st generation
iPod Shuffle - 1st generation
Macbook - black - circa 2006
iPhone - 1st generation (went through three of them, first one's battery died, second was dead out of the box, third is now with my dad)
iPhone 3GS - (went through 2, first died, 2nd - now going to my dad)
13" Macbook Pro - circa 2009
10" Mackbook Air - circa 2010
iPhone 4s - <3

thank you steve jobs, for creating such beautiful products and feeding my love for beautiful tech gadgets that make life more 'efficient'.

some years are harder than others

dear mom,


it's been eight years since you've been gone and this year it's harder to bear than others.  i've just finished an amazing two years of my life, so much has changed and a new chapter in my life feels like it's starting.  i need your advice on love and life.  but you're not here anymore, i can't ask you, i can't hear your voice and it hurts right now more than it's hurt in awhile.


i wanted you to be there when i find love, true love.


i wanted you to be there when i get married.


i wanted you to be there when i have kids.


i wanted you to be there.


i know you loved me, i know you'd want me to be happy, but some years it's just harder than others...


this year i would give anything just to have one more moment with you.


love always,
your daughter.