i'm the geek..

or the dork.. since geekiness usually means you're super good at something nerd and i'm just a dabbler. although at work i might qualify as head geek.

anyway, if any of you read the geeks are chic article i posted awhile back, i decided i'm the geek! i hardly ever notice if/when guys are interested in me. i'm so oblivious to it. if a guy offers me his jacket, i usually say no, i don't want them to freeze and if i'm cold, it's my own fault for not having worn more. when a guy is talking to me for a particularly long time i assume it's just information they want.

i rarely flirt, unless i'm totally comfortable with the person and then it's already too late, we're friends and the flirting is really just friends goofing around. if there's an empty chair next to a cute guy i'll usually sit away from him because i'm so nervous. i'll give a couple of glances and usually spend the rest of the evening ignoring him... why? scared and nervous.

but there's the flip side, if i like a guy i'll remember almost everything he tells me. in particular, i'll remember what he likes, what he doesn't like, what he's been up to. i'll do little things for him, most of which he'll probably never notice, also because i do things for friends in general. but that's just the way i am. i like doing little things to make people happy, to make them smile. :) it shows that someone was listening when they were talking and that someone cares.

this isn't to say i'm not confident in myself, i am. i'm totally adaptable in social situations. you can put me almost anywhere and i'm totally fine. yet when it comes to someone i'm interested in or think is cute.. it suddenly becomes 10 times harder. *sigh*

it's not supposed to be this hard! or is it?