i came to the conclusion today that i'm jealous.. jealous of the people who go out there and get fucked up on alcohol and have such a raging good time. it's not so much as i'm jealous that i can't, because my weak sauce ass can't handle the alcohol.. i'm jealous because once a person is slightly faded, or even drinking they're part of a group. a group that i'm often left out of because they look at me and go.. oh you're sober.. and don't talk to me as much. i'm not sure if it's because they think they're going to do something stupid or look stupid in front of me, or what. but then again there are those people who i can hang around and who when they drink and i'm still sober we still have an awesome time! those are usually my good friends, the ones that don't pressure me to do anything and don't care how stupid they look in front of me.. and i have to love them for that. but yeah. it just sucks sometimes because i've had people look at me and say "HOW DO YOU HAVE FUN SOBER?!" i just do. if you're a cool bunch of people i'm going to have fun no matter what, it's all about who you're comfortable with. doesn't mean i don't drink.. i do sometimes.. i just have to really be in the mood for it and with good people. i can see why people have more fun faded.. cuz your inhibitions go down and the world softens and gets warmer and "nicer".. as long as you're not on the edge of getting sick.. believe i know all the aspects of drinking.. probably because i have a knack for going through every stage in about two hours if you get a shot into me.. haha but please try and understand that there's sober fun too. alcohol is only a drink.. and if that's all i had to rely on to have fun.. my life would seem somewhat empty.. anyway.. that's how i feel.. to each man his own. :) i'll just be in the corner w/ a few good friends.