love like a country song

i want love like country songs sing about.  

love where with just a kiss you find it hard to fight these feelings, when it feels so hard to breath and you're caught up in this moment and caught up in their smile.

where you both find it hard to hold back, don't want to mess this thing up but where it's a shot in the dark that he's the one I've been waiting for my whole life.

where on a friday night he'll want to set me free, take me high, where we can fill up our cup, make a memory, drink it up

where he won't wanna miss another minute, wanna live it with me, beneath the blue sky fallin' in love.

where I'll be riding shotgun, singin' just a little off key, tapping out the back beat while the song on the radio's talking about about the love we make and he'll know just what I'm thinking

and he'll say 'oh my sweet love, keep singing me home, keep singing, love, keep singing.'

where every time we touch... oh I can't get enough!

where I'm better than I was, more than I am and now that we're together I'm stronger than ever, I'm happy and free.  If you asked me why I've changed, it's your love, it just does something to me.

where I'm everything he's ever needed because he's thinking 'I got everything I've ever needed, in you, I found it in you.'

because maybe I'm just lucky, some people search the whole world over, just to find a love, that's even half as true, just to find a love, that's even half as true as the love I've found in you.

i want that kind of love, the type found in country songs.

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and if he ever breaks my heart, well then there are songs to sing me through that pain and if he cheats then I'll dig my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carve my name into his leather seats and take a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all four tires and maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. ;)

for a split second I forgot you had died

happy birthday mom

I am thankful each day for every bit of your love for the time that I had you in my life.  For loving me so much and so strongly that I could carry on without you physically here with me.  For that love that reminds me of all the good that I deserve in this world and to be happy too.  For that love that reminds me everyday what it feels like to be loved.

dating - EEK!

for a whole slew of deep seated, you name it issues, feelings of loss and grief and heart break from all sorts of people, life occurrences and not so deep seated reasons i haven't really dated much in the last (let's not go there) years of my life.

i've finally hit a spot where i'm like.. oh i should think about dating, dating is the first step towards being in a relationship and relationships can lead to marriage.  i like all those things. :)

one would think this would be easy, being a somewhat cute (if i do say so myself), asian girl with a lot to offer in a relationship.  but said girl has also spent most of her life focusing on her career and gotten used to being single and doing what she wants to do and well... all those years led me to develop from interactions and observations an idea of what i want in a man... it also took awhile for anyone to spark my interest and remind me what it was like and what i was missing.

it also took awhile for me to realize i stayed away from anything that might break my heart because i was still trying to heal the wound from losing two of the closest people in my life.

so here i go, what else can i do but jump in that sea and hope the shock of the water won't kill me (metaphorically) before i find the right fish for me.