so i was thinking about what to write since i haven't written in awhile.. and it was funny, because numerous thoughts came to my head. but the idea of writing some of these on this online journal scared me. because some stuff is really personal and to put it on such a public and at the same time strangely private space was intimidating. what will i allow myself to share with the world and my friends and what do i want to keep a secret only for those i trust? i guess a lot of thoughts that seem interesting enough to write about also require me to trust the reader and with internet.. who knows who's reading. guess if you want to really know what's on my mind you'll have to ask.. and if i trust you enough, you'll know. :)

so i've been working out a lot lately, my goal is to at least make this last six weeks. :) and i have to admit, working out feels GREAT! it helps me relieve most of my stress and frustration and excess energy since i'm not doing anything else lately. so yeah off to the ARC i go.

Whoo hoo I went snowboarding yesterday! It was greeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaattttttttttttt. Although I'm still learning how to carve.. there's that fear of falling down that still stops me and the speed. But I realized I'm a person who needs to take their time at things like this. I need to get comfortable with it then I'll be okay. But I still have the rest of this season to practice :D so there's still time yet to get it down. But yeah, two of my HS friends from Santa Barbara came down and we all went. It was cool. Funny to see how we've changed throughout the years and how our thinking has changed.

Bathwater-no doubt

You and your museum of lovers
The precious collection you've housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened by my own admission

And the bags are much too heavy
In my insecure condition
My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man

Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction

So why do we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in so why do you want me?
I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I'm on your list with all your other women
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
You make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man

Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?

So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
Diligenly doubtful through all kinds of trouble
Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions

'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
Share a toothbrush...you're my kind of man
I still love to wash in your old bath water
Make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man

No I can't help myself
I can't help myself
I still love to wash in your old bathwater

Okay so it's a new year and new things have started.. like school.. and preparing to do commencement ceremonies. I'm not actually graduating, just walking, since I'll be in England next year. Whoo hoo! Still trying to find a job.. blech and just move on with life. Not that it's going anywhere. I don't really know where it is going actually, I just keep moving with it. Been thinking about my future a lot, I'll be leaving school for real soon.. what the hell am I going to do? where am I going to go? I really want to stay in Southern California, over the last three and a half years, it has become home to me. I'll always love Northern California, but So Cal has become sort of a sanctuary to me, it's now part of me too. A big part, since I did a lot of "growing" here. A hell of a lot. So we'll see what happens.