mm ok, so i'm still at home. it was fun this time, things seem to be better on the home front, which is nice. i never realized how affected i was by how things are at home. but as most of you know if it isn't one thing it's another and i'm usually running off to somewhere for one reason or another.. haha.. makes me wonder where the hell i'm going to end up later in life, but hey i figure i'll eventually get to where i'm going. after all i'm smart and usually confident despite one identity discomforature or another.. mm that's it for now. got a bunch of thoughts lodged up in the brain, but they're not wanting to come out yet. so yeah

happy thanksgiving weekend everybody.

It's hard, to see what the media portrays to us. Then to see pictures such as these http://www.dqc.org/~ben/index.htm that show the cruelty of war. I'm taking a sociology class on collective behaviors and the social movments of the 60's and sort of sad to see the state of our society today. There no longer seems a need to anyone to fight for a cause anymore. There seems to be this lack of passion in the world, even in my part, because many of us have stopped caring.. or just don't have the energy to bring people out. I find myself riding the middle of the fence a lot, not really leaning one way or the other and it scares me to make a decision sometimes, because I don't feel like I know enough about what's going on. All I can offer you is what I do know and what I think now, but that may change later, so don't quote me on it as being a solid truth.

I believe in peace, I hate war and I don't think anyone wins a war but everyone loses. It seems to me an institution that continues to oppress people and keep the dominant culture dominant. Two dominant powers fighting each other with threats and words.. the actual blood shed and lives lost is done by the innocent people who don't often realize what exactly is going on. You stir up enough passion in a person and make them believe in something they'll go out and fight for it. But I think sometimes when you step back and see the whole picture and try to understand both sides, it takes away the passion and then like Eldridge Cleavers says in his book Soul on Ice "the war is only half hearted.. and who wants to fight a half hearted war".

sorry if these thoughts seem a bit scattered to you, I write them as they come, and sometimes the fingers aren't fast enough to catch them all. I'll fix it later.. maybe.