brain is dead.. and i'm venting

the human body amazes me, what we're able to endure physically and emotionally, how it just keeps functioning. there are so many parts to you as a person that has to keep running to keep you moving, thinking, breathing. every little bit is entwined with another part and no matter what hits you, you just keep going.

well.. that's been me this week. i just keep going. our agency's major fundraiser is tomorrow and i've been working on it since may. meetings every month for the bbq, for the auction, just because, phone calls, letters, mailings (i've been to the bulk mailing office 3 times in one month), counting, sorting, databaseing, logging, graphic design, website, promotion, press releases.. all me. weeee. i've definitely learned a lot and if you know me, you know how i like event/program planning. must be the virgo side of me that can't help herself. anyway it's the week before the event and i'm brain dead. yesterday i felt like i had things running through my head about the bbq, what i have to finish, what i need to make sure is there, delegating tasks, testing the computers for check-out, finishing up auction stuff, cleaning the database.. and the auditor comes in the middle of everything to get stuff from me. talk about a near train wreck in my head!

i swear i had a blank look on my face all day, but i kept working. my manager was asking if everything was alright, my executive director was asking about the audit and i was trying desperately to hold onto bbq/auction stuff inside my head while finding the answer to her question. i kept imagining little people in my head running around managing thoughts (yes i know i'm crazy :P). anyway, all in all it was fine, by about 5:15pm i had most things sorted out and when i stepped through the doorway to hula class i was feeling great. i left everything i was thinking about and just enjoyed the dancing and the learning and the movement. that and i finally slept through the night relaxed last night.

phew! just one more day and the bbq will here.. then it will be over and i'm sure i'll find something else that needs to get done..in fact my mind is already moving that way... newsletters, annual appeal, volunteer recruitment...

yes i love helping people.. can't help it. :) although some might look at it differently, i could just be in love with that self-sacrificing feeling of giving myself to help others.. but that involves a whole other post and more.