Thank you my Angel

I know there is an angel that watches over me and has been watching over me my whole life. Because there is no way, I could have made it this far on luck. I have so much to be thankful for and to celebrate this Christmas and New Year. I am living and experiencing a whole new culture and enjoying it. I was blessed to be put with such amazing housemates and wonderful American friends as well. And to still have people who love me and miss me back at home and who think about me and send me e-mails and cards and all that stuff. It's amazing. Over the past few days I have been numb and eerily alright, but the other day my mom and dad called and I broke down. Spent that day nearly sobbing all day long and not being able to stop. The the next day I was on the phone with Dustin walking around campus and nearly crying the other day, saying how people are being really supportive, but I for some reason wasn't opening up. I feel so vulnerable and just wanted someone who knew me well to be here with me and hold me. I think this vulnerability thing was making me keep to myself, but when I came home after class there was a card in front of my door. 'Ooo, Christmas card' I though. I opened it and it was a sympathy card Matt had bought and had all my housemates sign! It was so beautiful and of course I burst into tears again, but they weren't sad tears. They were grateful, happy tears. I could feel my grandfather there with me when I opened the card and hear his voice saying, 'See, it will be alright, I may be gone, but you'll be okay. Don't shut out what's around you.' I had a nice talk with some of my housemates and they keep making sure I'm alright. And part of me, the ME that usually trusts people so easily came back along with a bit more of my confidence.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if I wasn't in the house I lived in now and was somewhere else in England where my housemates weren't as amazing or wonderful. So a huge thanks to my angel or whoever is out there caring for me, you are truly appreciated with every breath I take.

Although.. right now that breath may be a bit herby, Tilly just cooked an amazing roast dinner! We had roast chicken, stir fried courgettes, steamed cabbage, roasted potatoes and parsnip, boiled carrots and home made gravy! Absolutely wonderful. Yum. So that's all for now. Gonna roll my fatty butt home soon.