I see in your future..

I just finished watching "life or something like it" and it got me thinking, about whether I really want to know what's going to happen in my future or not. My friend read my palm once and told me something about my future that didn't seem all that pretty and from the look on her face she was making it sound a lot nicer than it probably was. Then while I was in China my family had dinner with this monk who was now married and somewhat of a fortune teller. I won't say exactly what he said, but it followed along similar lines with what my friend had told me. Not exactly the same, but similar in a way. It was kind of scary, because if what they say is true, my future doesn't seem all that happy. Not that anyone is ever 100% happy ALL the time. Life always has it's ups and downs. But still.. if this is my future do I want it? Can I change it? Now that I know will something different happen or is it because I know that it will happen? I don't want to take too much of this to heart, because it'll scare me into not being able to live. Still.. when someone predicts and they are right most of the time it's a bit hard to ignore, not to mention the vagueness of his answers to my mother's questions about my love life don't help either.

But I worry that maybe I look for something that will never be, something too perfect in my mind and because of that I might pass by something that could have been so wonderful. But a small fear still holds me to my path. People have such power to hurt others and to be hurt by others, I don't want to be hurt or to hurt someone else. Maybe that's why I look for something too wonderful, at the same time I've seen things in front of me that are great, but something usually happens where it's just not the right time and it makes me wonder, am I making excuses? Or is it really just not the right time, or maybe not even the right person?

I'm waiting for it all to fit..hoping it will one day fit, worried that it won't.