Love at 9 years old

My friend and I took a walk today, into our past by way of conversation. It was hilarious. She mentioned that she had recently come upon photos of her and I when we were young. I was trying to recall the first time I met her or even spoke to her, but I can't. I thought it was middle school, she says it was elementary. Or at least that's where we knew of each other's existence. I'm not quite sure if we ever talked, although I suppose we must have since our friends were the same. At least hi..

Anyway, it got me thinking about moments in my life that I still remember. They're not quite vivid anymore, but I remember them happening.. or at least I'm pretty sure they did.. who knows with memories anymore. I think the way these work is hopefully someone else who experienced it remembers it too. So there was my first friend, gloria and through her jenny, this was my first real Saratoga memory. Well that and losing my She-ra doll in our house when we first moved in. I think I was sad for about a day and came to the conclusion that she went on a trip. Don't ask how the mind of a 7 year old works.. gloria and I became friends because we were both shy, so we stuck to the back of the room. Then I remember my first crush, zach, he was in my 3/4th grade class. He was nice and I think he was cute, blond hair, blue eyes.

Then came the beginning of the boy crazy years. I'm not even really sure why I liked these guys, mostly I think because they were nice. I remember conversations among my girl friends, so who's your #1 crush... #2? Yes those were grand times, we thought we were so grown up and life was so complicated.. little did I know.. it gets worse. I remember chasing some boys around the playground with my friends Alvina and Katy.. we chased the boys all around the playground and they made the mistake to climb up the jungle gym.. a ha! trapped! I think Alvina made them give up who they liked, it was hilarious. I believe it was four boys and us.. turned out two had crushes on me (those two were also my #1 and #2, yeah I was a pimp!) and the other two like Katy and Alvina. Keep in mind.. we're 9 years old. What do 9 years old know about love?!

I remember throughout 10th grade my #1 crush and I wrote letters to each other. Yes.. 9 year old's writing "love" letters. I wish I still had them, they were hilarious. I remember finding them in high school and I couldn't stop laughing, it was great. (Coz you know in high school our idea of love is waaay more mature.. *note sarcasm*). I think my idea of love at 9 years old was better, things got more complicated in high school.. we got stupider about love too. I remember the letters ended when he went off to private school and I moved into middle school. That's when the trauma that is your friends helping you with your crushes kicked in. My #2 crush had the unfortunate circumstance, in that he went to the same middle school (we only had one where I lived). So he bore the brunt of all my friends doing stupid things.. this included loud talking using code names as we walk by them, them for some reason throwing my picture on his desk after school (thank you jane for saving me that day). I didn't suffer as badly as some others.. one friend followed another person's crush.. followed so closely she wasn't looking and stepped on his heel, there were the prank phone calls, the suggestive ones.. "so.. if so and so liked you, what would you think..". Oh it was awful, I'm pretty sure we were worse than most other normal kids our age. This is what happens when you grow up in a semi-strict culture and you have too much idle time. Instead of smoking or drinking.. we talked about boys, crushed on them, and pretended we knew what love was and all the pains and joys that come with it.

Believe it or not, we all survived middle school.. only to make it worse in high school. This time though the embarrassment factor was 10x higher. You're awkward and gawky.. or at least I was, dressed in my fancy art show sweatshirts and black leggings (I was so behind the times and my friends loved me so much they never said a word). I didn’t own my first pair of jeans (after 6 years old) until my junior year of high school.. sad isn’t it. I’m not longer ashamed to say this out loud.. I was a fashion freak. To top it off, I managed to burst the button off the jeans bending down for a book in the library, I was mortified, at least I was alone.. and thank goodness for the baggy art show sweatshirt (yes.. I was still wearing them). I remember at some point, I stopped liking guys, or at least the ones that were in my high school. I had just been around them for so long, the crushing kind of just ended. Granted #2 followed me there too and for the first 2 years I entertained the idea. Now that I think about it, I think I kept liking him out of idleness.. there was nothing else to do and my friends all had crushes on people and so he was mine. He was cute and very, very nice. I’m sure he still is. When I had stopped liking him, that was when he asked me to junior prom. I recall his best friend at the time, asking what I would do if he asked me.. and suddenly the tables were turned! It was his friend doing the embarrassing prelim interview now.. muwahahaha. I remember shooting back, we’ll see what happens if he asks. He did, I went, we had a great time, no pressure, just fun. Senior year went along pretty normally, I ended up crushing on a guy from a different school.. I should have been outreaching to other schools in the first place! I ended up at prom with a good friend and again we had a blast, no pressure, just fun. I think that’s the way to go.. I’ve always ended up having a great time with guy buds.. why? No pressure. I get to love them and have a great time and loads of laughs, plus if they’re really close friends, you can still snuggle without consequences and complications. Oh young love… how simple it was. Sometimes I wish I was still 9 years old, love wasn’t so complicated then.