She & Him

Apple lunch and nametag

Apple!

Walking to Apple - shadow on the sidewalk

Walking to Apple - yummy smelling cherry blossoms

A famous prankster pranked everyone at dinner tonight.

Sushi boats and Notes

My $43 Jessica McClintock Dress!

Valentine Flowers :)

Can she see?

I wonder if she can see out her back window.

Writing Essays at the Kirkwood Ski Lodge

Sunny day and the board

Boarding @ Kirkwood

Keith Explains Taping

Happy Chinese New Year!

VOTE

The Yard

Natasha bedingfield is playing in the background.

Brunch at Tangerine

Beautiful Sunrise

I need a name.

i'm the geek..

or the dork.. since geekiness usually means you're super good at something nerd and i'm just a dabbler. although at work i might qualify as head geek.

anyway, if any of you read the geeks are chic article i posted awhile back, i decided i'm the geek! i hardly ever notice if/when guys are interested in me. i'm so oblivious to it. if a guy offers me his jacket, i usually say no, i don't want them to freeze and if i'm cold, it's my own fault for not having worn more. when a guy is talking to me for a particularly long time i assume it's just information they want.

i rarely flirt, unless i'm totally comfortable with the person and then it's already too late, we're friends and the flirting is really just friends goofing around. if there's an empty chair next to a cute guy i'll usually sit away from him because i'm so nervous. i'll give a couple of glances and usually spend the rest of the evening ignoring him... why? scared and nervous.

but there's the flip side, if i like a guy i'll remember almost everything he tells me. in particular, i'll remember what he likes, what he doesn't like, what he's been up to. i'll do little things for him, most of which he'll probably never notice, also because i do things for friends in general. but that's just the way i am. i like doing little things to make people happy, to make them smile. :) it shows that someone was listening when they were talking and that someone cares.

this isn't to say i'm not confident in myself, i am. i'm totally adaptable in social situations. you can put me almost anywhere and i'm totally fine. yet when it comes to someone i'm interested in or think is cute.. it suddenly becomes 10 times harder. *sigh*

it's not supposed to be this hard! or is it?

My Desk Buddy

I finally won a mario party!!!!

Volcano!

Teppanyaki!

what's in a name?

victoria - Means "victory" in Latin. Conqueror, victorious.

I was given this name because I was born prematurely and was on the smaller side. My parents wanted me to have a strong name, to carry me through the years. I think I live up to my name in the sense that I have strong beliefs and I strive to uphold them. I don't force them upon anyone, but I carry them to be true to myself. Many of my own personal victories were a result of quiet perseverance and support of family and friends. I'm not an extrovert nor am I outwardly vocal about a lot of things, but in my own way, I am steadfast.

quan yin - My mother also believed I was somehow linked to this bodhisattva of compassion due to the dot on my forhead. (I never though much of it, only once ever wished it wasn't there, and now I cherish it). In Chinese culture, the Quan Yin is usually referred to as the goddess of mercy. Whenever we visited temples in China/Taiwan and there was an alter to her, I would light a stick of incense. She was known for her mercy and compassion for everyone, she would help whoever needed it, even if they had done her wrong somehow. I try to live my life like that. I'm not sure if I live it because I know who she is, or if that's just me. I think it's mostly just me. My mother believed that she protects me and for awhile I wore a necklace of her image around my neck and then later went to carrying a picture of her in my wallet.

Wei Shuan - my Chinese name refers to a not so easy to find piece of jade. My parents never really told me much about why they named me this. I think it was mostly due to it being something slightly different from the norm, not a regular piece of jade, but a special piece. Also, because it's supposed to be pretty.

kapu'uwaimaluhia - the peaceful heart - my first kumu hula gave me this name. He said it was because I have a tendency to give a lot and never ask for anything in return.

Today I was thinking about all the names I've been given (outside of silly nicknames). How I've lived with those names in the past few years and how I've become those names and how they reflect who I am.

I hope in 2008, I drawn on all the strengths of those names and really stay true to who I am and hope that it takes me some place amazing. :) Here's to a new year!

Diet coke section new years eve

"the wonderful thing about falling in love is that you learn everything about that person, and so quickly. And if it's true love, you start to see yourself through their eyes. It brings out the best in you. It's almost as if you were falling in love with yourself." - playing by heart

I didn't see that wall there.. did you?

I went to take the GMAT.. all I can say is I fucked it up. Someone or something is telling me to slow the hell down (at least that's my excuse). Talked to my teacher and based on my diagnostics, there was a 3-4% chance I could score that low.. 3-4!!! What the heck?

As much as I hate to blame the fact that it was cooler in the room (I study in 70 degree heat :D) and that the entry/exit door was right behind me. People were constantly going in and out and I could hear everything through the ear plugs, plus I could hear what was going on outside the door. How awful is that?!

So I'm going to miss almost every round 2 deadline. What do I do now?

I feel like I got slammed into a wall, I cried, I'm sad, but more so I'm disappointed in myself and pissed off beyond belief! I worked my butt off!!

so I guess we'll see, there's no giving up. I want to get into one of these schools, I know I can.. there's no ifs, ands, or buts about this. I just need to find a sledgehammer for this damn wall!

the marrying type

I went to visit some close friends this past weekend, to get away and get some advice. One of them shared a story with me, he jokingly said, 'my brother's in love with you.' I thought, what the.. really? I had only met his brother at his wedding this past summer and we talked, at most, just the two of us, for 15 minutes. My friend said, his brother, who isn't known for being monogamous, said that I wasn't just someone to date, I was someone he could see himself with for a very long time.

This brought a flashback to a conversation I once had with someone, about how I seem to be the "marrying type". Doing a quick google search, I came across this article:
http://www.grumblemagazine.com/articles/crack/marrying/index.html.

For the most part, that's so me.

One part of the article that particularly caught my attention was a conversation the author had with a guy friend:
"Guys are afraid of you."
"Afraid of me?" I was hurt (and in denial). "Why?"
"They know you're not the sort of girl to mess around with. You are to be taken seriously. You aren't going to put up with a lot of crap so if they aren't at the point to commit, then they don't even bother."

I had a similar conversation with someone years ago. Only with the added, "guys don't want to hurt you, you're too good and they know it." I'm not saying I want to be married right now, but I'd definitely like to be in the future. And I have tried the dating for dating's sake. I ended up in a year and a half relationship that wasn't what I really wanted. It also led to a lot of 1st and sometimes 2nd dates with no chemistry. I saw myself making a lot of friends...

A lot of guys friends mostly. I have loads of guy friends, some of whom I had started liking, but somehow I usually end up being their girl Friday. I can't even count how many conversations started with, "Hey Vix, I need some advice, I really like this girl... *quietly my heart falls, just a little bit - I quickly recover in time to offer advice*." I think my wish for my friends to be happy often makes me put what I want on the back burner. That and according to another friend I never give off enough signals. I have trouble flirting, it's not that I flirt awkwardly, I just don't, I forget, I'm too used to becoming the friend.

Yay.. lucky me. Same friend with the brother was told me, he knows lots of guys that I would be great with, only thing is, they're not good enough for me. :) Got to love that my friend is looking out for me, sucks that there's still no one.

Maybe my friends just tell me this stuff because I'm still single. If that's the case, guys, help a girl out!! Otherwise I might end up with unrealistic expectations.. is it already too late? :) .. only half joking.

at 13 or 27.. it's still the same fear

I was watching a re-run of Private Practice last night during my "study" break. In the show Cooper (a pediatrician) is talking to this young 13/14 year old boy. The boy was brought in by the mom because she thought he was sick.. he said he wasn't sick, he was in love.

Cooper asks, "isn't that supposed to be great?" The boy responds, "Not if the person you love doesn't love you back." Coop reveals that he has a crush too, he's in love with a co-worker and hasn't told her. He's loved for her a very, very long time. So the two make a pact, the boy will tell his love how he feels and Coop will tell his. Turns out, the boy gets beat up because he's in love with his best friend, who is a guy. Coop chickens out, because Violet is still in love with her ex (who is married).

Violet spent the episode trying to find out if the new wife (Cammi) was married and eventually the two have a confrontation. Turns out Cammi was there to check Violet out. Violet tells her there's no competition, Cammi is young and beautiful. Cammi tells Violet she isn't so sure about that... which thus gives Violet hope (bad bad bad!! - that's a whole different blog there altogether).

So Coop chickens out and reassures Violet, "Of course he's still thinking about you, you're hard to forget..." (they pause and look at each other) "you know big fuzzy red hair, loud voice.." (laughter breaks the moment). That's as close as Coop gets to telling her how he feels.

No matter how old you are, that fear is still the same. I remember feeling that scared and anxious when I was young and it still feels the same when you're older. It's this feeling that makes you feel like you're standing in the middle of a tornado. You're safe if you stay in the middle, but if you dare to tell the person, it's like waiting to see if the tornado will dissipate and the sun will appear or hits you and pulls you into it.

You'd think it would feel different as you get older, I suppose if anything it should get more scary right? Unless you feel as though you have nothing to lose. But if you think about it, it's all relative to your experience. So as a child, that's all you know, this is LOVE, real love and it's extremely scary. You've never felt this "intense" before! Then as you get older, you realize more and more the complexity of such feelings.. so that fear is still the same, no matter how old you get.

So if you were in the middle of the tornado, do you think you'd stick to the middle or go for it?

My life at the moment...

Geeks are Chic!

My friend Stacie, sent me this link and I loved the article!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22219377/

It's so true and to be honest, I've always had a soft spot for geeky/slightly dorky men. :) One day I hope to marry a cute, nice, geek. Maybe because I was a geek in high school, okay maybe more of a dork than a geek, since geeks tend to be super smart. Either way, I was them. I wore clothes that were very unfashionable and spent my time trying to be smart, playing board games and talking about geeky tech toys. (Come to think of it, I still do a lot of that now, only I dress a lot better.)

I think most of the guys I've ever liked/crushed on were geeky in some way, extremely nice, or very humble.. it's always that sweetness that gets me. :) And if they love dogs, it's so over, I'm smitten!

three cheers for geeks because they're chic!

Chanson: i saw your away message

and it showed the part: cautiously hopeful...

so i was about to message ask

why not be: Hopeful with abandonment!

or some variation on that, ridiculously hopeful works too

or hopeful like on christmas morning

but then i saw the rest of your

message

the: i HOPE i HOPE!!! part

and it put a smile on my face

it's the yang family way

i know no yang's to be cautiously hopeful

hmmm.. he does have a point. :P

feeling special at at frou frou spa party

On occasion (when I can afford to splurge), I go to the Preston Wynne Spa in downtown Saratoga for a massage or facial or something. I first found out about them at a Next Door Solutions for Battered Women's fundraising event. The owner of the spa is on their board of directors and does a lot to support the organization and women in domestic violence situations.

I like how as I'm supporting my own well-being, I'm indirectly supporting Next Door and women. :)

So last night, was their client appreciation party, there were 400 RSVP's and you could feel the numbers. My friend Jess went with me, because these things are always more fun with someone else. We got to downtown Saratoga early and had some dinner and then headed over there. Got our gift bags and signed up for a bunch of mini-treatments. It's amazing how 5 minutes of massage can help you feel 10x lighter! We had a hand massage, scalp massage (I could have fallen asleep in the chair), neck and shoulder massage, had our make up done, flowers/xmas trees painted on our nails, and even a flower essence reading.

When I was getting my make up done, the make up artist kept remarking how beautiful I looked with the smokey eye she was applying. When I took a look later I was a little shocked, it was a bit much, but looked good from far away. Then I realized why she kept saying it looked so pretty, she had made me look like a stereotypical cat-eyed asian woman. All I needed was a red chi pao with the slit up my thigh so high I can't sit in the dress, a fur coat, and the arm of a rich asian ganster. Yeaup.. that would have done it.

Jess and I even got hair consultations from the hair salon where I had my hair chopped short for donation! I really liked the girl I spoke with an I have an appointment in January to get my hair fixed up and bangs put back in. Yay! It's going to be my, congrats you finished taking GMAT gift to myself, either that or sorry you did so crappy on the test, here hope you feel better soon gift.

We continued getting treatments, wandering around, all the while munching on delicious appetizers such as shrimp mix on chips, smoke salmon and crustini, small sandwiches, and hummus. We sipped cranberry sparkling soda with champagne and nibbled chocolates from the local chocolaterie across the street. My favorite was the hot chocolate, it was delicious and absolutely amazing, I wanted to take a thermos of it home for later. :)

We ended the night with the flower essence reading. She had me sit with my eyes closed and told me to breath deep and connect with the earth. Then I had to picture a question in my mind, something I've been thinking about a lot. Well a picture popped into my head and it could have symbolized two things. I then opened my eyes and had to pick a card with a flower on it that spoke to me and she told me what it meant. The advice she gave me? - give and keep on giving, don't let expectations block me and cause disappointments, just give if I want to give and if I do give, to give freely and expect nothing, or just don't give at all if I don't want to. This might need some analyzing, I only hope it's a good sign or it could be a warning. Terrific!

All in all, so glad Jess came with me, had a blast and it felt good to not think about other stuff in life for awhile. But now, it's over back to reality...

What I Imagine Heaven would taste like...

sorry bad photo.. i was 3/4 through heaven when i realized i wanted to take a photo. it's a Beard Papa's cream puff if you can't tell. :)

Sleeping under the ocean...

Bread before sitting down..

Someone's hungry

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.
-unknown

"family" reunion

TEA!

Shaved head?!!!

Antlers?!

A dog has to draw the line somewhere...

My dog hogging the heater

Ia 'Oe - If you can't tell that's Keali'i Reichel's head sticking up.. he was a judge this year. :)

oh the love life of a dog owner..

My friend took his dog to a group function, dressed in my dog’s Hawaiian shirt.. here’s the conversation that ensues..

me: how the hawaiian dog do?

Fuzz: not too bad

he was a hit regardless

girls love dogs

me: (I laugh)

that's the real reason you adopted one isn't it!!

Okay.. i'll admit.. chicks dig dogs and chicks with dogs dig guys who dig dogs

Fuzz: only...

it's not bouncing off the dog to me

just to the dog

me: (I laugh harder)

Fuzz: he's like this huge black hole

i'm just the guy holding the leash, limiting his fun

me: (laughing so hard my eyes are all squinty)

Fuzz: i wish it would rub off...

even a little

is that too much to ask??

me: it is

sorry..

dogs are little attention whores

morgan will suck up every little bit and leave me nothing

Fuzz: no kidding!!!

messed up i tell you

Spider dog

SPAM musubi!!!!!!

Sleeping with the Loofah Dog

Tuckered Out

Oktoberfest

What's that?

Hmmmmmm

Giant sonoma iguana... Jk

Sonoma picnic

New Shoes!

@ the boiling crawfish