Thursday, December 02, 2004

stuffy nose delirium

Everytime i get a stuffy nose, my head gets all out of wack and my sinus hurt and it's just awful.. what's worse, I can't seem to control my mouth.. or rather what comes out of it.

Have you noticed that, the moment your head gets "foggy", like in times of drunkeness, intense sleepiness, or sickness, your mouth and your brain just lose control of each other. You can't get deep conversation out of me if you tried, but you ask the right questions and you'll get deeper truths, in a sense deeper truths. If you ask me what I got you for Christmas, I'll probably blurt it out, and you can't get any deeper truths than that during the holiday season. haha..

see.. there I go again, not making any sense.

Anyway.. here were random thoughts/occurances today during my walk through delirium.

First off, you say anything to me and it'll take a good 30 seconds for me to really soak it in.. and another 30 sec for me to give you an answer.. whether or not that answer makes any sense, we'll you'll have to let me know. what's that you say?

Secondly I'm way more polite when I'm sick, everything is a lot slower and I drive slower too (that sucks, I'm usually quick about everything).

Thirdly.. I go through periods where I'm so clouded I can't do anything, I was holding onto a really soft stuffed animal today and I had this intense urge to just lay down on it and sleep. We were going through donations of stuffed animals and the urge to lay upon them all and nap was great.. too bad my co workers were also in the room.

Fourthly.. I realized I don't do anything anymore. My coworker asked what is there to do Friday night and the only thing I could think of? Sit at home with the boyfriend, watch a movie, eat and cuddle. That's my life now.. I don't do anything. Well I do.. but it feels like I don't really.

My life is a pattern, I sleep, eat, work, go home, see bf on weekends, eat some more.. sleep.. only see certain people in my life, generally bf and roommate are about it.

Fifthly(?) I know I've been thinking strange thoughts almost like I'm watching my life through someone elses eyes, but I can't keep those thoughts in my head.. and this is weird, either it just got really really dark outside or the lights look brighter.. there goes my ear popping.

Man I hate being sick.. life's so much more boring when you're sick..